[Thread PL: 210 (flavored to 138)]

One’s state of mind was a curious thing. Tomina knew that this was a very nice evening. Probably the nicest one she had ever encountered, weather-wise. The ocean was nearby, so there was a gentle sea breeze blowing through the air. Her hair waved as she moved towards the workshop. Although it barely seemed to register with her. She was walking like she was moving closer to the gallows.

She was going to confess to something she hadn’t told anyone before. Why she was so afraid of using her powers. It was a sin so egregious that she had accepted her life as a transient. And now she was going to talk about it, with someone she had just met no less. Granted she could tell that Ayami was trustworthy. But that didn’t make it any easier.

She stopped when she got to the door to the lab. Taking a deep breath, hesitating to go forward. Then she opened the door and stepped inside, making sure it closed behind her. What she saw when she entered the room made her jaw drop. She had been expecting something similar to a garage, only bigger. What she entered into was a space that looked like a mix between a library and a laboratory. It was warmer than she expected. She looked around in awe, almost at a loss for words.

“Ayami… this place is amazing. Did you design it?”

"Of course I came! Did you doubt that I would?"

Tomina didn’t return the hug Ayami gave her. It was a little awkward, if she was being completely honest. She knew this was a platonic gesture, but she felt like she was betraying Lucy every time this happened. But she didn’t shy away from the embrace at least. When Ayami stepped back a little, she glanced around the room again.

“Damn, you even got the villagers in on helping you make this place? Now I really wish I had grown up here. Nobody is that eager to help others in the city. Still, you must have come up with the design for this workshop. You’re so lucky, having all the space to make this place.”

There was one thing about what Ayami said that got her attention. She followed her over to the workstation, watching as she got back to doing what she had been doing.

“You can just produce electricity? How did you manage that? And what the hell kind of weapon are you making?”

It would be a major upgrade to her own house if she could get that setup. That and proper plumbing. It seemed like Ayami could potentially help with both. After they took care of this gang business. Some things just took priority. Tomina fumbled around, looking for the part Ayami asked for. She set it on the table next to the inventor. Then she turned and looked at one of the tanks.

“I nearly burned my best friend to death and ruined her life. That’s why the orphanage burned that day. I got mad at her over something she couldn’t even control.”

“Well, there’s no point in delaying the inevitable, ya know? Figured I might as well come as soon as I could. I don’t really like waiting anyway.”

Patience wasn’t a virtue Tomina really employed. Despite trying her best, she was more inclined towards sin then virtues as a whole. So she couldn’t help but feel envy when Ayami went into detail about how close she was with the people in her community. She slipped her hands into her pockets, looking at the inventions Ayami was putting together.

“People should be able to live the life they want to live. Oftentimes it doesn’t work out that way though. The world moves on with or without you. Most of the time you’re caught in the flow in some way. Still, I like how my life is now. For the most part.”

Tomina couldn’t help but be disappointed that Ayami had a powerplant to work with. Well that kinda killed most of her hopes for getting electricity. She wasn’t sure she would be able to set up a water wheel close enough to her house. She turned her attention back to the inventions she could focus on though. She gave Ayami a grin, patting her on the shoulder a couple of times.

“Damn, that’s badass! We’d have to be careful to make sure civilians don’t end up in that trap though. Still, this should give us a big advantage!”

The good mood evaporated when she had to go into her sins. She looked down, biting her lip.

“It happened when we were fighting over a toy. I wanted to keep it as a keepsake, but Tsukihime wanted to take it with her. The toy wasn’t the real reason why I was angry though. That was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. She was getting adopted, and I wasn’t. I didn’t have that many friends at the orphanage. A lot of them called me a freak because of my red eyes. I can’t prove it, but that’s probably why I wasn’t adopted for 8 years.”

Tomina looked up, a sad smile on her face. It wasn’t all bad there. But there were a lot of aspects of her life that made her want to leave that orphanage. But there were things that made life there bearable, and in one case, better.

“Tsuki was different though. She was amazing. She was the first person I met who was talented with Ki. I didn’t know what it was at the time though. She could fly and produce small energy balls. I was so clumsy at flying. I nearly crashed into the light fixture in the foyer cause I flew like a drunken goose. Tsuki flew like a crane. She was so elegant and precise. She was only two years older than me, but the difference was nice and day. It’s fitting that she flew like that. Her dream was to attend the crane school and become a martial artist. She saw that as her ticket to making something of herself.”

Tomina sighed, turning and walking towards the middle of the room. Tsuki had known what she wanted from life. She had a goal and worked hard to get to that point. By comparison, she had no idea what she wanted to do. Other than leave the orphanage. Her gaze turned upwards, towards the bookshelves above her.


“She wasn’t afraid of me. She taught me how to fly properly. She was the best friend I had ever had. But then, when I was 15, two people came in and wanted to adopt her. And just like that, she was going to leave me behind. She promised she would keep in contact. I wanted to be happy for her, but…”

Tomina looked down, her body trembling. She had to force herself to speak louder now. It was hard for her to get all the words out.

“I didn’t think it was fair. I was there since I was 7. Tsuki’s parents died in the military, so she came to the orphanage earlier than me. But I had been there for 8 years. 8 years of people just coming and going and not wanting me. And then things boiled over. And then I…”

Tomina let out a choked sob, burying her face in her hands. It was such a stupid, impulsive moment. She was just so angry. She was mad at the fact that most of the other orphans were mistreating her. That she was never adopted close to a decade of being there. And that Tsuki was leaving to live a happy life. She knew it wasn’t her fault, but in that moment she was so furious that all rational thought had left her. And then the flames had burst forth and enveloped Tsuki. She could still hear the screams, still feel the heat as the orphanage came apart around them.

“Heh, of course you do. Just making sure you don’t trap a senior citizen by accident.”

Tomina’s eyes widened when she felt Ayami hug her again. It was much tighter than other ones previously. She could feel the other girl’s body pressing against her. She wasn’t subconscious about it in the slightest, despite the tight clothing she wore. She returned the embrace, leaning her head on the inventor’s shoulder.

“For me it’s fair. I might as well have torn an dragonfly's wings off.”

The floodgate broke, and she sobbed on the other girl’s shoulder. Seeing Ayami also break down was the last straw for her. She couldn’t keep up a strong front any longer. She listened as Ayami mentioned her own friend, Candice. Who had taught her everything about the passion she had in machinery. It seemed like this girl gave Ayami everything. Tomina raised her head, her eyes swollen, her cheeks streaked with tears. She spoke softly.

“This isn’t a mistake I can take back. But you could have patched things up with Candice. What happened after you yelled at her? Did you ever make it up to her?”

“Yes it’s fair! Forgiveness is something that’s earned, not accepted!”

Tomina barked. She winced, slipping out of Ayami’s grip and stumbling backward. She took a deep breath, wiping off her eyes with the back of her hand.

“I’m sorry Ayami. I didn’t mean to snap like that at you. But actions mean more than words. And forgiveness is something that isn’t up to you. Forgiveness can only be given to the wrongdoer by the one they wronged. And they have to earn it. You can’t just give empty words to someone and say you’re sorry. That’s what the nun who ran the orphanage said. And she’s right. All I could give Tsuki was words. That isn’t enough.”

Tomina clenched her fists, shaking her head and looking down. “I don’t know Ayami. I don’t know how I’ll gain control of my powers at this rate. I just have to keep trying and find some way to deal with my emotions. Cause I can’t just forgive myself, I just can’t.”

Tomina looked up as Ayami finished her story. About how she never got the chance to make it up to Candice. So, she felt like Ayami had surpassed her. And they had departed on that bitter note.

“Your words and actions must reach her together Ayami. Saying sorry isn’t enough. Actions matter the most. Maybe you could make her something that she really wants.”

Tomina suggested. She looked down at the ground again, tears building up at the corners of her eyes again. She clenched her fists, closing her eyes and trembling.

“Things got even worse for Tsuki. Technology is amazing. You can completely fix up someone good as new. But only if you can afford it. Orphans cannot afford that kind of care. Those scars would always be with her. She inhaled so much dust and smoke that it left permanent damage. The doctors called it Respiratory Distress Syndrome. Something like that. They managed to get her stable, but they were going to have to do another operation. They needed to implant a ventilation device to her.”

Tomina took a deep breath. She raised her head, looking at Ayami sorrowfully. The pain was etched into her face. It hurt her just thinking about it. And now that she was pouring her heart out, the emotions wouldn’t stop.

"I got to talk to her just before that surgery. She insisted on seeing me, while she could still talk normally. It wasn’t as a friend anymore. She wanted to make something clear to me. And it turns out she lost even more than I could have imagined."

---

Walking into the hospital was like entering a different realm. The air was thick with the smell of disinfectant. The bright lights and white, clean walls were in stark contrast to the dirty orphanage. It only added to the unease that she already felt in her heart. Tsuki wanted to meet with her. It had been a few days since the incident. Apparently, she was stable enough to get visitors.

Tomina came there with Mother Guiness, who ran the orphanage. When they got to the door to Tsuki’s room, the nun patted Tomina on the shoulder a couple of times. She wasn’t going to go in with her: Tsuki had requested to talk with Tomina alone. Tomina hesitated. Then she pushed open the door and entered. There was Tsuki, lying on a bet with an I.V. injected into her arm. A heart monitor kept beeping obnoxiously. Tsuki tilted her head upwards. Tomina gasped, covering her mouth with both her hands.

The left side of Tsuki’s face was horribly burned. Those marks were probably all along the left side of her body. Tomina trembled, tears swelling up in her eyes. “Tsuki, I’m so sorry!” Tomina tried to rush over where she was, but.

“DON’T COME ANY CLOSER, MONSTER!!!”

Tomina froze, looking at Tsuki in horror. That yelling had sent the other girl into a coughing fit. She was stable right now, but she couldn’t overexert herself until she had the ventilation system installed. She grit her teeth, gritting her teeth and looking at the hybrid hatefully.



“Sorry? That’s all you have to say?! After burning down the orphanage? After nearly killing me? That’s not going to make everything better Tomina!”

Tomina let out a choked sob. “I know Tsuki, I know! But you have a family now at least. You’re just not in your right mind right now. We’ll all help you get better.”

Tsuki let out a bitter laugh. That quickly devolved into another coughing session. She narrowed her eyes at the other girl.

“What family? Mr. and Mrs. Hightower changed their minds. Apparently, they didn’t want to be saddled with my medical bills. Or don’t want to have a horribly burned daughter.”

Tomina gasped, looking at Tsuki in horror. “That can’t be… those bastards…”

“So they decide to adopt Helen instead. Which is great for her. But the rest of us don’t have a home anymore. Did you even think about the other orphans when you had your temper tantrum? If you knew you had a hidden power, then you should have told me about it!”

“I didn’t know, I swear! I’m not supposed to be stronger than you!”

Tsuki grunted, sitting up and glaring at Tomina hatefully. “You’re dangerous Tomina. I can’t let you be around the other orphans. They’re my only family now, and I’m going to make damn sure that you don’t hurt them either. That’s why I’m going to tell Guiness the truth after my operation. I’m telling you this now because we were friends. If you stay here then you’ll end up in juvey, at best.

Tomina gasped, looking at Tsuki in horror. “No… Tsuki, I…”

“Shut it. This doesn’t change any of my plans. I’m going to learn Crane style. And then I’m going to join the military, so I can protect people from monsters like you. Inhuman monsters that burn down an orphanage just because they couldn’t keep their favorite toy.”

Tsuki… that wasn’t it! I just didn’t want you to leave!”

“Well, you got your wish. I’m not going anywhere. But you’re not going to be here. Run Tomina. I never want to see you again.”

“No…”

Tomina fell to her knees, pressing her palms against the ground. She grit her teeth, shaking uncontrollably. She then threw her head back and let out an anguished cry. Guinness and the nurses had to escort her out of the room.

---

"I ran after that. I just went from city to city, getting whatever job that I could have. I couldn't make it right, so all I could do was run." Tomina sniffed, looking at Ayami sorrowfully.

"How can I make that right? I can't think of anything. I don't deserve to get forgiven. I ruined her life completely. I burned down the home of my fellow orphans. And you think I should forgive myself? Ayami... I can't. I just can't."

Tomina blinked, looking up shocked at Ayami’s declaration. She made it sound so simple. Shouldn’t the answer be much more complicated than “show her how strong you’ve become” or “you haven’t tried forgiving yourself.”? But then again, she had been so oppressed by her own guilt that she hadn’t tried to tackle it head-on. She just kept trying to get around it, cause that was much easier to do. It was why she had slammed into a wall. She was trying her best to dig under it, but to no avail.

But maybe Ayami was onto something. Maybe she had let her demons dig in deep and was unwilling to pull them out. She loved a good fight and preferred tackling things head-on. But when it came to stuff in her head, she ran away from it. Maybe it was time to just face her mistakes. She looked at Ayami with wide eyes, disbelievingly. Then she snorted, a sad smile spreading across her face.

“I’ve been an idiot. I got so used to running away after becoming homeless. But there was no way I could outrun myself. But I kept on trying anyway. It’s just as you said: I’ve been running around in circles, all this time.”

Tomina’s red eyes were captivated by Ayami’s intense gaze. Sure, she had seen Ayami’s passion when it came to her inventions. But she had never seen her resolved about something. Tomina felt lighter the more that Ayami went on. She couldn’t help it: she felt a slight smirk spread out on her face. She pressed her palm against her forehead.

“Sheesh, I should just accept that you guys won’t let me drown in my self-pity. At this point, I’d feel just as guilty if I failed to meet your expectations than about what I did to Tsuki. Alright, I’ll try using my powers tomorrow. But only if you’re there to put out the flames.”

Tomina snorted, shaking her head with an amused smile on her face. "God that was so corny. And you had me swooning at everything that game before that. But you're right about one thing: both you and my sister are equally stubborn. If you want to keep pulling me up, then I won't fall even if I jump off a building."

Tomina yawned, tapping the front of her mouth with her palm a couple of times. "Honestly, why are thugs that strong also so dumb? Anyway, I'll try not to exhaust you by putting out a million fires. I'm tired, so I'm heading off. You shouldn't stay up too late either. Night."

With that, Tomina departed, exiting the lab and heading back to bed. She didn't feel the weight completely lift from her shoulders. But for the first time since the incident, she felt hope. Hope that she could finally control the one thing she never could. That hope stayed with her all the way back to the room she was staying in. She fell into a dreamless slumber. Her lips curved into a soft smile. She couldn't wait to start the training.

---

Final post for me in this thread.